journalism

The lazy blogger

Here is a short piece I wrote, about being a “lazy blogger” for Ryerson Folio.

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End of Semester Thoughts

We’re nearing the end of the semester, and as students we all know what that means. Last minute cramming, stress eating and crying about our grades! University is the time of our lives! Here are some thoughts that I’m sure have crossed all our minds in the last few weeks:

  • The essay is due tomorrow? Wait… we have an essay ?
  • Honestly, I’ll just get up early tomorrow and finish it.
  • Wow I’m starving, I need to go make a snack. I know I just had an hour long study break but I can’t deny myself proper nourishment!
  • Why does my T.A. hate me?
  • Who even is my T.A.?
  • C’s get degrees *I tell myself as I check my marks online and cry*
  • But do I REALLY need an education? *googles careers that don’t require university degrees*
  • *gets into bed* WOW I have so much to do, am I going to pass school? If I fail where will I end up in life? I don’t want to be a disappointment. Shit I didn’t submit that paper online. Who am I as a person? Why did I eat those chips today?
  • Why did I think high school was hard?
  • If I just don’t eat lunch for 3 days I’ll have enough money to go out this weekend.
  • I’ve only opened my $100 textbook once…
  • I need a drink.
  • I need a hug.
  • Having 3 large coffees before 3 p.m. should be fine right?
  • Sleep is for the weak *stays up all night and falls asleep in lecture*
  • I’m so stressed out! I have so much due! *lies in bed eating cereal*

If I had a dollar for every time I procrastinated on my homework:

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It’s October! It’s Fall! Everything is Orange! And you don’t know what to be for Halloween…

It’s that time of year again! You’re not quite sure how it happened but suddenly everything around you is orange. The leaves on the trees, orange. Every piece of decor at Home Sense, orange. Everything in your house, orange. Okay you do know how that one happened, your mom wanted to get festive and tried every DIY Pinterest idea she could find.

But can you blame her? It’s October! It’s fall! And Halloween is just around the corner. Your mom’s excited, I’m excited and despite the fact that your house looks like you live in Halloween Town, you’re excited too.

Halloween, the one day of the year where you get to break all the rules. Stay up late, run around at night with your friends, take candy from strangers and eat a giant chocolate bar for dinner, and the best part is, your parents won’t get mad at you. They won’t get mad at you because they’re already eyeballs deep in your candy bag eating all the tiny O’Henry chocolate bars before you can get to them. But you don’t care! You let your dad eat enough tiny chocolate bars to feed a small village, and you let your mom put a pumpkin spice scented air freshener in every room of the house. You know why? Because it’s Halloween!

Those were the days, when Halloween was all about candy and no one cared that you wore the same fairy princess costume three years in a row (it was cute as hell, no one could deny that). Those were simpler times, but as you get older you realize Halloween is not all fun and games. Your first year of high school it all changes, you suddenly realize candy is not the objective anymore, showing the least amount of skin but still being able to classify the lingerie and mask you are wearing as a costume is.

I remember it like it was yesterday, my first Halloween as a high school student, coming to school as an innocent little purple crayon, the rest of my friends the same. One was blue, the other pink, another one green, we were a pack of crayons, how cute and clever we had thought. As we sat in the hallway eating lunch that day I remember seeing the senior girls pass by in their tiny little dresses that showed off just a small glimpse of butt cheek, that was complimented quite elegantly by their 8-inch heels. Stunned I nervously looked away and kept eating my sandwich making extremely obvious eye signals at my friends who were just as petrified as I was.

After recovering from Halloween 2011 I am now not the scared little crayon, choking on a turkey sandwich that I was in the ninth grade, however Halloween still does make me a little nervous. Why does choosing a costume have to be so hard? Trying to find a balance between cute and mature seems nearly impossible, while also staying under budget. Costume options seem to go from one extreme to the other. Either you’re a sexy cop equipped with plastic hand cuffs and a plunging neckline, or you’re a witch equipped with a strange, large black “dress” that covers you up from head to toe.

There seems to be no real guidelines or rules when it comes to picking a costume, wear whatever you’re comfortable in. Because if I can offer one piece of advice, it’s that NOTHING in the whole world is worse than wearing something out and feeling extremely uncomfortable all night. So if you want to be a sexy cop, or you want to be a purple crayon, the choice is all yours. Do whatever feels right for you. Realistically Halloween is a lot like puberty. I know what you’re thinking, Alexis that doesn’t make sense. But it does. You’re going to wear something and think you look all cute, similar to your awkward pubescent middle school days, and no matter how much you think you nailed it you’re always going to look back and say “oh god what was I thinking?”

So you have nothing to lose! Have fun with it!

Happy October! 🙂

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First Year

In light of the new school year beginning and me supposedly becoming an adult and all, I decided to give my blog a little face lift. A fresh start if you will (vomit at how cliche I am). On the topic of fresh starts I also wanted to talk a little about my first year experience (thus far). Here is a small list of things I have learned in the past few weeks:

  • Everyone is just as terrified as you are, and wants to make friends just as bad as you do
  • All the fun people sit in the back of the lecture
  • You may feel like a total creep going up to strangers and introducing yourself, but you’ll thank yourself later when you have cool new friends
  • You don’t suck, and everyone else feels like they suck too
  • Bring a lunch! Stop wasting your money on overpriced food at Metro
  • Coffee is your best friend
  • You will probably cry, probably more than once, and that’s okay
  • It will physically pain you when you have to spend over $100 on a textbook
  • You will most likely get lost, at least once, don’t be scared to ask for directions
  • Your professors are not scary like you thought they would be
  • Check your school email like it’s your day job
  • 70% of your questions will be answered with “check the syllabus”
  • For the first week you will probably have no idea what the syllabus is, where to find it or how to check it
  • If you’re a commuter always bring headphones, weirdos are less inclined to talk to you
  • You’re not going to get the high marks you did in high school, chill, it’s not the end of your life
  • There are going to be those girls that always look fabulous, wear your sweatpants with pride
  • As long as something has the school logo on it, it can more or less always pass for cute because you have school spirit (or so they think)
  • Take a break from homework every once in a while and go live your life a little, your sanity will thank you
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